Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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