There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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