Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
