you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
