So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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