My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
this is an emotional support booty call
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
