Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
