He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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