Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
