What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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