Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
