Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
