She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize