before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
