rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
