Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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