Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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