We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
