I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize