Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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