She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
