Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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