isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
