i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
