we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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