I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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