i don't like sucking hair
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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