You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
