She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
