MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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