a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
