Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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