Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
