his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize