every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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