Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
