YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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