Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
