I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
