There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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