I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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