Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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