i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
