Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
