If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
