this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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