I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
