is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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