Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The power of my boobs compel you
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
