So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
All the doctor said was why
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
