next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
