Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
