she woke up with a sticky ear
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He better not be in your backpack
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
