she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
