Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I love you. Go after that dick
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
