Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
