Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
BRING THE BAGELS
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize