This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
