I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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