Screwed.edu
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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