Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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